Guide for New Moms: Tips and Supplies, Birth to 20 Months

Hello. Since August 2018, I’ve been keeping track of everything I think my friends might want to know and/or buy as first-time moms. I’ve put that all together here. The biggest caveat being, of course, that I actually know nothing. This is less “advice” than it is “here’s what I bought and did”—everything that worked for me and my fam. Every kid is different, every family is different, and there are so many factors that go into every part of parenthood. That said, there’s way too much info to navigate as a new mom. At every stage, you’re gonna feel like you need new intel and new stuff—and often you will. And then you go to buy whatever thing, and have to sort through a million options, read reviews, make choices. It’s exhausting!

That exhaustion is probably unavoidable. But I figured it’s helpful to have a starting point when you have to decide what bottles to buy, or what to do if your nipples are on fire, or whether or not you should switch to formula, or what the hell to feed your kid. So here’s what happened with me, and what we bought, and the resources we use. Below I list individual items I bought, but of course there are many different brands and options out there. These are just the specific items I landed on, for reference, if it’s helpful to see. Mostly linked on Amazon for convenience’s sake.

Please pass this along to anyone who might find it helpful 😊💕

NYTimes Guide: Emotionally Preparing for Parenthood

Came across this recently and I feel like it’s super useful and honest. It covers a lot of bases:
PARENTING GUIDE: Is There Any Way to Emotionally Prepare for Parenthood?

Twitter Thread: What Parents Love About Having Kids

As a counterpoint, see this viral Twitter thread. It’s sometimes hard to put into words the magic of having kids and this has a lot of sweet examples.

Rose Stokes on Twitter / Thread

Post-Birth Supplies and Tips

Note: I had a vaginal delivery. Post-C-section supplies and tips will probably differ a bit.

Pads
Stock up on pads. Like some serious Always maxi pad shit for at first, then you can slowly go down to the thinner variety, then pantyliners. The hospital will likely hook you up with a bunch of pads, but you’ll burn through those, so have some on hand. You’ll want to keep it all fresh down there, trust me. Different women bleed more heavily or not, and for longer or shorter after giving birth. I would say my bleeding lasted at least a month, and then my first five or six periods after birth were way heavier than usual too (I typically have light periods, and am back to that now THANK GOD). Here’s a thing on how many pads you might need, just for a reference point of some sort. I hadn’t used pads since god knows what year, but I found these WITHOUT wings to be the most comfy.
Stayfree Wingless Maxi

Epsom salt bath
In those early weeks, I found soaking both the nips and vag at once in an epsom salt loaded bath to be soothing/healing. Helped with pain, aches, inflammation, all that. (More on soaking nipples in the breastfeeding section.)

Sitz bath
You can also use the sitz bath, the kind that fits over the toilet, and throw epsom salts in there, which I definitely did too. Nice during those days/times you don’t have time for a full bath. The hospital hooked me up with a sitz bath and I think it’s standard practice they will, but if not, you can buy one. Are you like, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT yet?!
Sitz Bath, Over-the-Toilet Perineal Soaking Bath

Perineal irrigation bottle
You heard that right! Hospital sent me home with a couple of these too, which are LIFESAVERS. You shouldn’t need to buy them; this is here more just to let you know what’s coming. I myself did not.
Perineal Irrigation Bottles

Mesh high-waist undies
The hospital will also hook you up with these, but I loved them so much, and was not ready to go back to regular undies, so I bought more. You put your pads in them and they’re just so comfy and wonderful and keep the air flowing through ifyouknowwhatImean. They’re the best. In fact, I wish I was wearing them right now.
Mesh High-Waist Knit Underwear for Postpartum and Incontinence

Padsicles
These saved me. It couldn’t hurt to make a few and have them in your freezer for when you get home from hospital. You just need pads and aloe, mostly. Witch hazel is a nice addition too, but probably not essential.
Easy DIY Padsicles via The Gentle Nursery

Stool softeners and painkillers
Your doc will give you prescriptions! Take them on the prescribed schedule and write that shit down, so you don’t forget to take them throughout the day! When the painkillers run out, hit that ibuprofen (or whatever your preferred is) hard!

Face spray
When I was up in the middle of the night feeding all night, I found it helpful to freshen up before trying to go back to sleep, especially if I was feeling particularly gross. Refreshing! I like Embroylisse and still hit it up on mornings when Faye wakes up on the early side and I’m all blurry-eyed.

Insulated mug
You may have heard new moms talk about how they never get to drink their coffee/tea hot, or eat hot food. It’s the truth. Get a good insulated mug!

Big-ass spill-proof water bottle
When I was breastfeeding I was thirsty like I’ve never experienced. I felt constantly dehydrated, so I kept a liter-size bottle with a straw lid on me at all times and tried to remember to suck down as much water as possible. I think it helped.

Stress relief/therapy/whatever
If I could do it all over again, I’d do my best to prioritize myself a little more, especially during those early colicky days (see below). I may have had PPD, it was never diagnosed, but more than depression symptoms, which I have experienced previously, I had postpartum anxiety symptoms. Big time. I have ongoing anxiety issues anyway, and early motherhood triggered that quite a bit. If you do too, definitely tell your doc. Both your own doc and your ped should quiz you about symptoms postpartum. Yet—do I think new mothers get enough built-in, mandatory care from the U.S. healthcare system? Hell. No. Not at all. Probably we should all get physical therapy and therapy therapy, but alas, you know how it is. Unexpected life circumstances really got in the way of my being able to find any time for myself for almost the entire first year of Faye’s life. There was almost no way to rest more than a few minutes here and there, and it just wasn’t enough. There’s this book I want to read about motherhood and anxiety. I’m guessing it might be helpful.

The Fourth Trimester

I wanted to include a note about the so-called “fourth trimester” which can be a tough time for both you and the baby. It’s my greatest wish for you to have a super chill baby who barely cries. Or only cries a little. I’ve met babies like that, and I’m jealous of their parents. For us, those first few months were tough. Faye was what was at one time usually referred to as “colicky”—meaning, cries a lot. Basically all day every day, unless she was being held or bounced. There was a little bit of a fake-out in the beginning. When we first brought her home, the first couple of weeks, she slept a lot. That slowly gave way to bouts of intense crying. Wearing her and going on walks helped a little. Bouncing her on a yoga ball helped a little. What helped me the most was talking to friends who had (twin) babies a couple weeks older than Faye who were the same way. Just knowing I wasn’t alone! So if your baby goes through a period of intense crying, just know it’s normal, and even somewhat common from what I understand.

The theory goes that they basically arrive a few months too soon! They’re adjusting to the actual world vs. your cozy womb, where they floated around in water and everything was comfy and chill, and it takes a little time for them to adjust to their new surroundings and all the stimulation. Their little bodies are going through a lot too—they’re learning how to drink milk, and their digestive systems are learning how to function, etc, etc. The days feel long, but try to just get through, take breaks when you can, and know that it will end. I was convinced Faye was just unhappy or that I was doing something wrong. Now she’s super happy! It all started to shift around month 4.

Body Changes

A lot of friends have asked me about this! Some things changed for me, yes, though nothing too drastic. My feet are still the same size. I still have my sense of smell. I think it took about a year post-birth for my body to actually fully settle (and expand) into its new normal. My old clothes mostly still fit, but anything with a super-fitted seam under the bust and even certain jeans had to go—both my rib cage and my hips are now about an inch wider than they were. My bra size went up one full cup size and one full band size, despite my being convinced that my boobs actually got smaller after breastfeeding. They didn’t, they’re just sort of more deflated now. I still don’t have the core strength I had before, as a *young person* who worked out regularly. No matter what I do in terms of exercise or yoga, there’s a layer of … something ... that wasn’t there before. But that’s about it. Everyone’s experience is totally different.

Breastfeeding Supplies and Tips

Breastfeeding has its pros and cons. Your hospital will likely be pro-breastfeeding and that’s good and all. Just know that means once you give birth, the baby’s with you from then on. S/he won’t go to a nursery while you get to catch up on sleep; and nurses and lactation consultants and whoever else will be waking you up every 2 hours or so all night during your stay to feed the baby. Because the baby’s stomach is tiny, and they need to eat at least every 2 hours.

Also good to know: In the beginning, they eat every 1 to 3 hours from the START of the feed. And feeds can take 30 mins, 45 mins, an hour, or longer. So if you feed baby at 1am, and s/he finishes at 1:45am, you’ll have to feed them again at, say, 3am. If they cluster feed (more on that below) the feeds might all blend into one another and you’re nursing for hours at a time. You’ll likely learn about this in BF class; this is more FYI—stuff I didn’t really know.

Breastfeeding generally worked for me. I produced a lot of milk especially in the beginning. Sometimes it would spray me and/or Faye in the face. Still, I didn’t love most aspects of it. It’s a 24/7 job. I decided to stop at 6 months and switch to formula (more on that below).

Cluster feeding
Also sometimes called “marathon feeding.” This happened to me starting at the hospital. Fun times. Nurses kept coming by for several hours straight, because they wanted to take us to the nursery for a tutorial on newborn sponge bathing, but we could never go because Faye was attached to my boob nonstop. This doesn’t go on forever, don’t worry. But yes I had some nights where I was up all night, crying in pain, with Faye attached. That’s when nipple soreness, rawness, and pain can (understandably) come into play.
Newborn Cluster Feeding Tips via Breastfeeding Needs

Mastitis
This is an infection that stems from plugged ducts. It can be painful and terrible from what I’ve heard. I was lucky and never got it, but did get a plugged duct here and there. For me what worked was getting in a hot shower and massaging it out until the milk started flowing again (you’ll know once you’re breastfeeding what I’m saying here). In any case, this is just a good thing to be aware of. It’s common.
Mastitis on WebMD

Eating frequency
This is somewhat helpful to get an idea of how often babies eat, from the newborn days on up.
How Much Should My Baby Eat Graphic via Romper

Sore, raw nipple relief!
This tutorial from a lactation consultant/nurse really really really helped me, and was the only thing that brought relief in the beginning. Scroll down to watch the video. You basically soak your nipples in salt water using little cups.
Relief for Sore Cracked Nipples via Glowing Nest

Lanolin
More TLC for your nipples. I’d put this on after doing the soaking thing (above) and after feeds.
Medela All-Natural Lanolin

Electric breast pump
You should be entitled to one free (electric) one through your health insurance; worth doing because they’re upwards of $200. Insurance will send you to some weird website to pick out whatever models they have available. I think they’re all similar to be honest, even though you could spend a billion hours researching which one’s best. I had a Spectra, got a pumping bra to pop the flanges into, and it worked fine. You’ll need flanges that fit your nips comfortably too.
Spectra Electric Breast Pump

Hand/manual breast pump
However, I also used a hand pump more often. It’s meant for travel/going out but honestly, I found it simpler and much easier to clean. You manually pump one boob at a time with your hand, which is pretty easy to do while watching TV, etc. And then for middle-of-the-night pumping, which you’ll probably end up doing once a night at least (hard to get around it), you can just keep it on your nightstand and empty a little bit out of one boob or both when you need to. Or if the baby eats only from one boob and you need to release some milk (you’ll know once you’re breastfeeding what I’m talking about here), you can just grab it, pump for 30 secs or a minute or whatever, and then you’re done. This is the one I used; there are tons of similar ones out there. And on that note yes, breast pumps are a bitch to clean. You have to take them all apart and clean everything every night. The hand pump only has a few parts so I found that to be a big advantage.
Philips Avent Manual Breast Pump

Milk storage bags
I’d typically fill up at least one bag a day with excess milk, from pumping, and had a decent freezer stock for a bit. I used NUK.
NUK Milk Storage Bags

Bottles and nipples
Shopping for bottles is a little overwhelming because there are a million out there. The bottles and nipples we started with were Dr. Brown’s. The bottles have a vent straw thing which is supposed to slow the flow of milk (and help reduce gas bubbles and indigestion); and this is what both The Pump Station in Santa Monica and the teacher from my baby care class recommended if you want to use bottles in addition to breastfeeding. They both also recommended using “Preemie” nipples, which I used for pretty much the whole time I was BF’ing. The Preemie nipple, too, just makes the milk flow more slowly, which is supposed to replicate “eating from a boob” for the baby. The idea is that if you use a nipple or bottle where milk flows too easily, the baby will get used to and prefer that and then might refuse the boob. This bottle-nipple combo totally worked for us. We got Faye used to switching between bottle and boob early, say, week two, and she never had a problem switching back and forth (that is, she never refused the bottle or boob).

As baby gets older, you can get the same bottles in 8 oz. size; when we switched to formula we kept using the vent straws for some time; as Faye got older we dropped the vent (one less thing to clean!) and had no problem.

In my opinion, getting your baby used to bottle feeding (if you can) is a good way to go, so you can get a break here and there! I would usually have Spence do one bottle feed of pumped milk overnight. Though typically you still have to get up and pump; it sucks. But pumping takes less time than actually feeding the baby, and then you can just go to sleep when you’re done, and let your partner worry about getting the baby back down to sleep. To me that was worth it! And then you can also go out somewhere for a few hours and leave behind a bottle of pumped milk for your partner or whoever to feed the baby while you’re out.

NOTE: These bottles come with tiny straw brushes to wash the vent straws, and they’re also perfect for scrubbing nipples.
Dr. Brown’s Options Bottles
Dr. Brown’s Preemie Nipples

Bottle drying rack and bottle brush
You’ll need a dedicated rack for drying bottles, nipples, your pump, etc. You will spend a lot of time doing this for the first six months especially. Then as your baby starts to eat fewer times a day, you wash bottles less frequently. It gets better. Queue up some podcasts and MUZAK.
Boon Grass Drying Rack + Drying Accessories

Nursing pads
These go in your bra to soak up leakage. I needed them throughout the first 3 or 4 months at least, I hate to say. It’s gross and a pain. And in the very beginning, when nips are sore, these pads I found to be the softest and most comfy. There are reusable versions you put in the washer but I just didn’t want to F around with that.
Bundlebliss Nursing Pads

Nursing bra
My favorite nursing bra I found was from Storq. No clips or anything to poke into you—you just pull the cups aside to nurse. I had bras from Lively too, with the clips, but they weren’t as comfy.
Storq Everyday Nursing Maternity Bra

Nursing tank
Also slept in this most nights and wore it often. I wasn’t used to sleeping in a bra but HAD to while nursing (to hold the leaky pads); this was a good alternative to get a bra break.
Storq Nursing Tank

What else to wear nursing
My hot take is that you don’t need too many “nursing” clothes. What I found easier than button-down tops and dresses were (slightly) cropped tops and high-waist pants. Although full-on crop-tops would work too! Instead of unbuttoning and pulling out a boob to feed that way, if you’re wearing a cropped top, you can just lift it up and sort of put your baby in there to latch! I found that more comfortable and easy to pull off than buttoning/unbuttoning.

Formula Feeding

We transitioned to formula between 5 and 6 months, and by her 6-month birthday, Faye was on formula full-time. Stopping breastfeeding at that point was totally the right move for me. I did not for one second regret it. As time went on, I was tired, I wanted my body back, and I didn’t want to deal with fussy feeds before bedtime (when Faye was typically most cranky). Formula just seemed to help. She seemed to eat MORE (though with breastfeeding, you never do know exactly how much they’re eating), and anecdotally, people say formula fills their bellies more, and they sleep better. Definitely we did all the sleep transitioning and stuff around that same time, and she started sleeping through the night. We never looked back. If I had another baby, I’d probably transition to formula even earlier.

If you do go the formula route, around their first birthday, your ped will have you transition to whole milk.

Formula
We used Enfamil Gentlease and never had an issue, so stuck with that. I think Costco formula (which is probably the same product, or one of the big two or three) is way cheaper and probably the way to go.
Enfamil Gentlease Formula

Baby Brezza
If you do go formula, a Baby Brezza is probably worth it. It’s essentially like a Keurig, sort of, from what I understand. You put formula powder in and water, then just press “5 ounces” or whatever and it automatically mixes and dispenses the formula for you. We never got one and just hand-mixed, which isn’t a big deal, especially if you don’t want an extra piece of equipment around. But it does get repetitive, scooping and mixing, yada yada.
Baby Brezza Formula Dispenser Machine

Sleep and Sleep Training Info and Tips

There are a million books and websites on the topic of baby sleep and sleep training. Sleep training is the number one thing I’d say to do as a new parent. In my view, it’s teaching your kid how to put themselves back to sleep and self-soothe, which seems like a great lifelong skill to have (says me, the person who often wakes with anxiety-brain at 3am and can’t get back to sleep). It made everything better when we were able to get decent sleep and weren’t tortured out of our minds with exhaustion.

In the beginning, when putting your baby down to nap or to sleep, you just do whatever it takes to get them to doze off—rock them to sleep, sing them to sleep, feed them to sleep, put them in the stroller, go for a car ride, whatever. Trouble is, they then wake up between sleep cycles (which each last something like 30 to 45 minutes) and cannot get back to sleep without your help. So sleep training is both about teaching them to put themselves to sleep initially and put themselves back to sleep throughout the night too, as they wake up between sleep cycles.

We did our training around 4 months, which is the earliest I think most pediatricians recommend. That’s when babies can eat enough before bed that they no longer need feedings overnight. Because it involves, at least to some degree, letting your baby cry in their crib, for us doing it earlier was better. Faye was less aware of what was going on, so we didn’t feel as bad about it. And she didn’t hold it against us at all, and was just as happy as ever to see us in the morning.

Nap and feeding schedules
Around 4 months is when schedules will really come into play. Up until then, or at least for the first 2 months, it’ll be a free-for-all. Just go with it and know the baby will get herself on a schedule in time. When you start going from four naps, to three, to two, and working in solid foods and snacks, it’s easy to feel lost. And every month or two, the schedule shifts. I used this site and guide all along (from a sleep consultant), and it was super helpful.
Sample Schedule 4 Months and Up via Wee Bee Dreaming

Sleep training
This is what I used—beauty YouTuber Susan Yara’s explanation of how SHE did it with her son, with the help of a sleep consultant. Very straightforward. We did it sometime in month 4, with our ped’s OK. We weaned Faye off of the two overnight feeds she was doing, and then if she woke up, we’d let her just cry til she went to sleep. I think the crying part took two nights, and she only cried about 40/45 mins each time. It is really sad and hard not to feel bad, but they get over it. And as I already mentioned, they’re still happy to see you in the morning. It worked. Faye sleeps about 12 hours most nights, and has only woken up in the middle of the night a few times since (if she’s sick or teething or in a regression). NEVER. WAKES. UP. Sleeps 7pm to 7am. Worth it.
How I Got My Baby to Sleep Through the Night via Susan Yara on YouTube
Also helpful: This Q&A with her sleep consultant

Room sharing, baby’s own room, and safe sleep
We slept with Faye in her Pack N Play bassinet next to our bed for about the first 3 months. During month 4, when we began to wean her off night feeds and sleep train, we moved her to her own room to sleep at night. The APA recommends room-sharing for the first YEAR. Yet many friends and even our doctor (off the record) let us know—everyone sleeps better once the baby’s in their own room. We felt comfortable making that transition early, and practiced safe sleep otherwise (nothing in the crib, put her on her back to sleep, and so on), and it was so helpful for us. When she was in our room, every little sound she made, we’d pop up or at least stir, and then that would wake HER up and she’d start crying. Kind of a mess. Whenever you decide to move the baby to their own room, you might be freaked out at first. But you’ll have a monitor, and they’ll let you hear it if they really need something! You’ll wake up! I really don’t think she would’ve started sleeping through the night if we’d kept her in with us. So we broke the rules a bit here, and it’s been all good since. Also: I have friends with two very well sleep-trained kids who put both in their cribs, in their own rooms starting at night one. Another alternative, space permitting, would be putting a bed in the baby’s room, and parents could switch off nights room-sharing, perhaps, while one parent gets undisrupted sleep in their own room/bed.

Nap training
Yara also has this vid on nap training. Naps can be harder. The most important thing for us to get Faye napping on a schedule was to just stick to a consistent schedule and pre-nap routine. Her pre-nap routine is pretty much an abbreviated version of bedtime, and we do the same thing in the same order every time, to this day. Also: Faye almost never napped more than 30 minutes at a time during her first 4 months. She took five to six 30-minute naps a day (yep, it was very exhausting and repetitive for us, and we only got tiny breaks throughout the day). I was convinced this was not normal, but my ped reassured me that it was and that eventually she’d consolidate her day sleep into three longer naps, then two, and so on. She did! Eventually! I was not patient about it.
How I Got My Baby to Sleep During The Day via Susan Yara on YouTube

Swaddles and sleep sacks
Faye really didn’t like swaddles starting around week 1 or 2! She would fight and wrestle her way out, so we just didn’t swaddle her. I’m sure she would’ve slept better early on if we would’ve been persistent, but we just went with sleep sacks instead. The one advantage is that we didn’t have to go through transitioning OUT of the swaddle, which is a whole process.

Pacifiers
On the flip, Faye has always been into pacifiers. She still uses one, only at naptime and bedtime. In fact, as naptime and bedtime approach, she requests her paci and sucks quietly, Maggie Simpson–style. You’re supposed to take pacis away at some point, around age 1, but we still haven’t, because she’s such a good sleeper. Even our pediatrician said “don’t mess that up,” so we’re just going with it. Friends have told me they’ll eventually just give it up, and you can do a little ceremony where you “mail your pacis to new babies who need them” or whatever, and say goodbye.

For reference: Sleep consultant sites
Still haven’t ever hired a sleep trainer, but these are the three main sites I’ve looked to for info. There are tons of books on the topic too.
https://www.babysleeptrainer.com/
https://goodnightsleepsite.com/
https://www.weebeedreaming.com/

Solid Foods

On our pediatrician’s rec, Faye started on solid foods at 4 months (most kids start between 4 and 6 months, I believe). It can be a little overwhelming at first, figuring out what to feed them, worry about whether they’re going to choke, etc. My best general advice is just keep it chill. See what they’re interested in. If you wanna make purees from scratch, go for it. If you wanna save time, just get some pouches.

We did a combo of pouches/purees and soft finger foods at first. Started with avocado, bananas, cooked sweet potato, and expanded from there. Baby puffs, teething wafers, and Cheerios are all awesome early baby snacks. Now she eats anything and everything.

One thing to keep in mind, which may be obvious, but I never really thought about it—kids eat three meals and two snacks a day. So even after you’re basically done with bottles and your kid’s older, you’re still either always feeding them, or packing a meal, or making a snack, or cleaning up from one of the above. It really never ends. But you’ll get in a flow.

Instagrams feeds
The woman (MS in public health, registered dietitian nutritionist) who runs Kids Eat in Color has been far and away my biggest resource. She has a blog too. She explains exactly what to do, and shows you how to portion stuff. Her philosophy all makes sense to me. She says yeah, go ahead and feed your kid a small amount of dessert randomly throughout the week; serve it with the meal instead of “after the good food.” She also has you play the long game—if your kid won’t touch broccoli, for example, just keep serving them a tiny amount over and over with other foods they like. Eventually they might dig in. That has worked with Faye! And then she shows you how to make food appealing with little cutters and such. Anyway, it’s great. Feeding Littles is good too.
Kids Eat in Color on Instagram
Feeding Littles on Instagram

My own Pinterest board
Here’s my own Kid Recipes board on Pinterest. Favorites are separated out, and I’ll be adding to it over time. It’s worth noting Faye eats a lot of really basic shit: quesadillas, PB&Js, mini bagels with cream cheese, eggs/omelets, veggies, fruits, waffles, Cheerios, oatmeal, Greek yogurt, string cheese. But she’s pretty down to try anything.
My Kid Recipes Pinterest board

Baby teething popsicle molds
These are awesome for early feeding and for teething. Just fill with leftover puree or mashed banana or whatever and freeze.
Baby Food Fruit Feeder/Pacifier Infant Teething Toys

Tiny cookie cutters
As recommended by Kids Eat in Color. I was skeptical but they WORK. Some days Faye won’t touch cheese or a quesadilla or whatever, even though she loves those things. Then I cut a couple pieces into little stars or bunny shapes? And she’s suddenly wolfing them down. Who knew.
Mini Cookie Cutter Set

Muffin cups and mini muffin cups
I make mini muffins for Faye all the time and keep them in the freezer (the America’s Test Kitchen mini carrot recipe, usually, using either carrot, zucchini, or pumpkin puree!). These are great because you can fit a bunch on one cookie sheet and bake all at once. But these are also good just for serving different types of food! As recommended by Kids Eat in Color; you’ll see when you look at the Instagram feed.
Full-Size Silicone Reusable Baking Cups
Mini Silicone Reusable Baking Cups

Baby Must-Haves

All the general big and small stuff you “need”! Meaning, the stuff I would get again if I was having a baby.

White noise machine
I personally have slept with a fan or white noise for at least 15 years and it’s been a part of Faye’s routine since day 1. I think it’s a cue to help her know “it’s bedtime” or “it’s naptime” and it of course helps drown out any noise you’re making around the house. We use this one, which has a nightlight you can control from your phone (brightness and color) for middle-of-night visits, plus an “OK to wake” light-up function for when they get older.
Hatch Rest

Blackout shades or curtains
Most sleep experts and pediatricians seem to recommend them and we’ve used them pretty much since day one. Especially helps with naps when it’s bright daylight outside. And if you want your baby to sleep past sunrise, I’d say it’s a good move. If you’re going on any sort of trip, these travel blackout curtains are easy to pack and really helpful.
Travel Blackout Curtains

Diapers
We’ve mostly used Huggies Little Snugglers, starting with Newborn size and on up. It kinda just depends what fits your particular kids’ body the best. Huggies seem to fit Faye’s body (tall and slender!) better than Pampers, Honest, and other brands, and result in fewer leaks. We just use regular diapers at night too—have never needed “overnights” or anything, but I think every kid’s different. I don’t think she’s pooped overnight since month 3 or 4 though; since then, she’s been sleeping through and we just give her a fresh diaper in the morn.

Water Wipes
Many friends recommended these. The most natural wipes out there—they’re just water with a touch of fruit extract. They work, they don’t smell weird, and Faye’s never had diaper rash (more on that below), so we just stick with them.
Water Wipes

Aquaphor
We put this on Faye butt/diaper area pretty much with every diaper change. It seems to help keep everything soft and healthy; she’s only had a touch of diaper rash maybe once. But the main reason I do it is that it makes cleaning up poops wayyyyy easier. This comes more into play when the baby’s older and eating solid foods (breastmilk poops are easy to wipe up and don’t even smell that bad, relatively). I’ve tried Burt’s Bees and an Honest Co. Cream, but they’re oilier and don’t seem to work as well.
Aquaphor Baby

Battery-powered nail file “trimmer”
Faye was born with longish fingernails and toenails, and I hear that’s pretty common. That’s why you’re often told to put mittens on babies when they sleep, so they don’t scratch themselves. I don’t think I ever really tried clippers because it freaks me out. She’s always been squirmy too. So instead, I’ve used this type of thing, a little battery-powered file, instead of clippers or scissors. They come with different cushioned “sandpapers” in different grits and as they get older, and their nails get tougher, you can go up to a coarser pad/higher speed. Still use this to this day. When they’re really little, you can get them when they’re sleepy/chill, or actually sleeping. As Faye got older and more aware, I’d sit outside and do it, and now that she’s VERY aware and obviously not interested in sitting for a mani-pedi, I put on Sesame Street or something and that helps distract.
Electric Nail Trimmer

Baby bathtub
We had this one, and plopped it in our bath and used until Faye outgrew it. It worked well, and I think any similar model will work.
Boon Baby Tub

Bath tub sponge
To help keep her from slipping around and keep her comfy during baths (she wasn’t into baths early on!), we put this into the Boon tub. She was happier once we started using it—obviously a little cushier than sitting on a rubber/plastic combo.
Summer Infant Comfy Bath Sponge

Wipes dispenser
A very small thing you definitely want! This one hasn’t failed us yet, super easy to load, and wipes don’t dry out.
Ubbi Baby Wipes Dispenser

Changing pad and diaper tote
You don’t reallllyyyy need a designated diaper bag; we have a backpack style one. You can just use whatever bag you like. However, I do recommend a portable changing pad tote that folds up and has a place for diapers and wipes. I always use that, but rarely use the diaper bag.
Portable Diaper Changing Kit

To-go wipes pouch
Get a refillable to-go wipes pouch to stick inside the diaper tote/changing pad thing.
Reusable Portable Wet Wipes Pouch

Babywearing wrap
For the early days. Faye would nap in the Solly Wrap while I did dishes, cooking, on walks, even working. She would usually nap much longer in this than bassinet or crib too. Once you get used to putting it on it’s easy, even though it looks complicated. I had a different brand, Boba, that was way too sweaty for me; Solly is nice and lightweight.
Solly Wrap

Ergo or similar baby carrier
For later on, as the baby gets a little bigger or outgrows the wrap, I recommend the Ergo. Faye loved hers up until she started crawling and cruising.
Ergobaby Carrier 360

BabyBjorn bouncer
This thing truly saved us during the “fourth trimester” and colicky early days (see above). Recommended by a friend who had a similar newborn who needed constant holding and bouncing. It was the only baby chair Faye really liked or responded to. I’d put her in this while I showered and she’d just chill and bounce herself and watch me. We’d use it in the kitchen too, and she could entertain herself and watch while we made food, did dishes, etc. It’s nice because it safely holds them in, and it’s all their own bodyweight and motion that does the rocking. Nothing to plug in.
BABYBJORN Bouncer Bliss

Clothes and PJs
Old Navy and Target all the way, plus hand-me-downs of course. For newborn and infant pajamas, get the ones with the zippers, not a bunch of snaps :)

Large muslin blankets
The best and softest are these Aden + Anais ones. If you swaddle your baby for sleep (we didn’t), they’re both cozy and lightweight and perfect for that. And then they just make nice nursing covers, or a little sun cover for the stroller or car seat, or a light blanket for your baby if you’re out, or if they’re napping on you, you can drape it over. I used them every day in the beginning.
Aden + Anais Muslin Swaddle Blankets

Burp cloths
I had a bunch of different types, but ended up using these Gerber cloth diapers the most (I read that tip somewhere, to buy these instead of fancy burp cloths). They’re really soft and you can just wash again and again and abuse them and they hold up. You’ll use them a lot at first. Your baby will barf on you, your clothes, your furniture, etc., so it’s good to have a cloth to put over your shoulder or throw down under the baby’s head.
Gerber Birdseye 3-Ply Cloth Diapers

High chair
You won’t need one until your baby is eating solid foods (our ped had Faye start at 4 months). I think any is good. I don’t think the brand matters.
Graco Slim Snacker High Chair

Crib
Most of my friends have told me that for the first kid they got something fancy; for the second kid, they bought whatever was at IKEA, Target, etc. They’re kinda all the same. I don’t think the brand matters. Ours is similar to this, and converts to a toddler bed later on (one side pops off). Also has a drawer beneath.
Carter’s Colby 4-in1 Convertible Crib

Thermometer
We have a forehead scanner one, and have relied on it most of the time, or used a regular thermometer under her arm. The best, they say, is to do it rectally with a regular thermometer but tbh, I’ve still never done that.
Exergen Temporal Scan Forehead Baby Thermometer

Monitor
Any decent one will do. We’ve been using this one all along with no issues.
HelloBaby 3.2 Inch Video Baby Monitor with Night Vision & Temp Sensor

Stroller + infant car seat combo
Here’s where I’d invest in good stuff. There are lots of different ones out there with different features. We have the following, and it’s all served us well. If I were to have another kiddo I’d get a bassinet topper for the stroller as well for the newborn days—lil babies seem to nap well when strolled around in that type of thing.

Stroller: UPPABaby Cruz
The videos and info on UPPA site, plus friend recs, sold us on this one.

Infant Car Seat: Chicco Keyfit 30

PLUS: UPPAbaby Infant Car Seat Adapter for Chicco
This is the thing that adapts the UPPABaby stroller to the infant car seat, which you can pop in and out of your car. It’s convenient because if baby’s sleeping on a car ride, you can leave them in their seat, then pop the car seat onto the stroller. When baby gets bigger, you don’t need to use the car seat with the stroller—they just go in the regular stroller seat.

PLUS: Chicco KeyFit Infant Car Seat Base
The Car Seat Base isn’t necessary, but is super convenient with an infant. You don’t have to buckle them in and out of the seat, just pop out the entire car seat with the baby in it. And you can get them all strapped in in the house, then go pop it in the car on your way out.

Playard/Pack N Play
It’s a good place to plop a baby down to play, but we mostly have used it as a travel crib. For the first 3 or 4 months, we used the bassinet attachment too, and Faye slept on that next to our bed. (But really, the earlier you get them used to their crib, the better, in my opinion.)
Graco Pack and Play On the Go Playard

Playard mattress
The one that comes with it is so flat and not comfy, so we have a fold-up “memory foam” thing we used in there when Faye was sleeping in the Pack N Play. And we bring it on trips.
Foldable Memory Foam Pack-n-Play Mattress Pad

Play mat
Get one that’s wipe-clean. Put toys and books on it. Put baby on it. The end. That’s all you really do in those early days. You don’t need lots of fancy toys or anything.
Reversible Foldable Baby Play Mat
Also note: Little Nomad has cool ones that look like area rugs.

Books for You

A few of the most-recommended ones.

What to Expect The First Year
I completely skipped What to Expect When You’re Expecting (I thought too much info would just stress me out re: pregnancy!) and went straight to this. It’s nice because it gives you advice at every age, from the very beginning, and specifics about sleep, feeding, playing, behavior, etc. at month 1, month 2, and so on.

No-Drama Discipline
One of two of the most-recommended books from friends. I just finished it. Really good and practical info about how to deal with tantrums of the toddler stage and beyond. It explains why and how tantrums and meltdowns are a normal and necessary part of human development, and walks you through how to connect with your kid, validate their emotions, show you’ll be there for them when they’re at their worst, and let them know it’s OK to be sad, hurt, blah blah blah (instead of doing what Boomer parents did, like “shut the hell up and go sit by yourself until you can act happy!”).

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
I’ve read the “Little Kids” version but not the general/older kids version yet. It’s GREAT and it goes hand in hand with No-Drama Discipline, and tells you how to set boundaries with compassion, resolve conflicts, yada yada. The scripts inside have really helped me—they tell you exactly what to say to kids to help them get out the door in time for school, pick up toys, or overcome a meltdown. Their tactics/words WORK!

America’s Test Kitchen: The Complete Baby and Toddler Cookbook
This was a good resource when Faye started eating real food. While I’m definitely not someone who made my own purees, it gave me a few solid recipes to work off of for finger foods, and it has some cool recipes you can make with older toddlers and family meal ideas. ATK has done their homework and always knows what’s up, ya know?

Other Resources

A few standouts among the countless that are out there.

Raising Good Humans Podcast
With a NYC-based doc, Aliza Pressman. She’s so soothing, and covers every topic with legit experts and tons of practical info on every single thing you can imagine (sleep, food, anxiety in kids, talking to them about sex, and so on).

Dr. Becky Good Inside Podcast and Instagram
Clinical psychologist and known as the “Millennial Parenting Whisperer” (lol)—she has lotsa good advice!

Destini Ann on Instagram
Tons of “peaceful parenting” tips. Really useful stuff!

Alexandra Sacks, MD on Instagram
If you want to feel seen in navigating new motherhood, follow her. She’s a “reproductive psychiatrist” and talks a lot about “matrescence” or the transition to motherhood. She shares a lot of helpful info, and also has a book and a podcast called Motherhood Sessions.

Curious Parenting on Instagram
A great feed for tips about more behavioral stuff, communication, supporting your kid mindfully, blah blah blah.